Dear Ex Best friend

Uncomfortable for me mentioning you as my ex best friend, we still act as friends with healthy smile. There was a time when we related to each other like no other, we were inseparable. We were actually a great team together.

Imagining our friendship and that unconditional bond we shared. Who expected this coming? Now I can just hit the like button on your instagram uploads but I’m restricted to comment. I see you mentioning other people and I miss those mentions which once cemented our bond. And now it’s been months we last talked. No, actually texted me month ago when you had no other option left you could trust and I felt good though. Yes it’s been months since we last talked like we used to and it damages me when I get unexpected glimpse of us texting late nights and picturing weird faces. Laughing; hating and loving opinions with unnecessarily extended discussions.

Nobody did nothing wrong but we still got apart. Times when my world knew you care and we shared secrets like anything and now moving to an era where I don’t even know when you plan to move out of the city. I still want you to tell me all the things you used to. We both are bound when we feel to text each other but I am loud today expressing and sharing the firm bond I felt in words. I want to ask you ‘how are you?‘ And I want you to reply ‘you miss me‘. But a part of me knows that you probably don’t care. I can’t even imagine but this happened with time, we turned away from each other and you never wished to look back.

How can one forget staying up all night and talking about everything in our heart and mind because we knew no one else can make us feel as comfortable as we do, still no one else can hold our trust as firm as we did. Sharing priority screenshots with open trust and talking about the things we fear to speak in front of other people. Sometimes it’s emotionally taxing when I feel it was a phase with never ending promise but it just got sink with time.

Real rainbows and butterflies in our lives when your anger turns into a laugh just by sharing the drama with me.The way you never felt offended on my critics, the way I used to predict what you are going to do next and you blow by saying I know you well. The way you told me: you are going to leave your house, i supported you saying ‘I will be coming with you tell me what all things I have to get for packing’ and we end up laughing and concluding nonsense to all those stupid decisions. Saying ‘We will hold this friendship for life and there is no other person we thought can ever create a bond this’.

We never thought those late night conversations will end up turning flashbacks one day!

I want to tell you that I watch your stories and look for your name in my story views. I stalk your uploads, I feel good when I see you happy and smiling. I always think about all surprising moments and memories we had. All those phone calls which always get extended by remembering the main topic at the end all those conversations we did facing each other but always felt like if we could spend some more time together. We may don’t have lots of pictures together but connection that was build was something inseparable. Sending each other snaps of stuff asking what one should go for. Behaving foodie together and understanding madness of the other. I miss me in your life. I promised I would love you forever and that doesn’t change.

Being close friends is probably same connection like love, you hold a bond together and you fear to let go.

We actually discussed every genre together our past, present, the future. The way we shared music, likes and dislikes. Talked about how we didn’t even know about each other before months and now we hold an inseparable bond. Having those meaningful conversations with each other and feeling like we hold someone we could trust. We fought, worried and cried but never thought about the separation. I miss being close with you. Many times I picked my phone and tried texting you but then your name in my phone reminds me that ‘we no more hold the same bond. I always thought that you’ll be constant person who will stay.

I smile when I think how much fun together we use to have. I haven’t forgotten about you but you might probably no longer care. I always look for you to reconnect.We never had the will to fight we always had the will to stay together. And we don’t even mention any good mornings and goodnights now. I remember all those conversations which meant everything to us and now just end at okay.

There was a lot between us and probably that’s the reason I get hurt. Yes obviously it hurts when people who once treated you as their priority choose other people over you. And I still feel you miss me sometimes but now we have the differences that restrict us to talk even when we stand in the same hall. I never thought you could take it this lightly because you never signed like that.

This may have ended badly but our bond meant world to me. I don’t want to blame you because when you pushed me away once, I tried to get back to you. You pushed me away twice; I tried to understand your situation. But when you repeated the action I took my step back assuming that you don’t need me anymore. I never imagined this coming but I just wish we wouldn’t have ended this the way we did. And now we have a built silence.

I just hope you don’t hate me for walking away, like I did!

Everything happens for some reason but I don’t understand the reason behind this separation. I’ll never forget the moments we shared together. But I know this is how life works, everyone has different length of chapters in life. Sometimes things don’t work out like you think they should. I just want to thank you for all the laughs, smiles, happiness, tears and memories we created together. You being a part of my book taught me a lot about life and people. “We make memories and we move.” For sure this sucks but I’m okay and I see you okay as well.

Life makes everyone learn, how to heal with time.

Thank you for this weird chapter holding incredible memories and unnatural feelings!